BEST DRINK IN THE UNIVERSE

The best alcoholic drink in existence according to the Hitchhiker’s Guide To The Galaxy is the Pan Galactic Gargle Blaster. Be careful now, this drink is powerful. It is said that the side effects of this drink are similar to having one's brains smashed out by a slice of lemon wrapped around a large gold brick. The Pan Galactic Gargle Blaster has also been described in the novel as the alcoholic equivalent to a mugging: expensive and bad for the head. In my mind it is best avoided, unless you are a space hitcher, who on having two or three of these drinks, will find that the effects of the jump into hyperspace greatly minimized.

That said….

The best non-alcoholic drink in existence up until a few days ago (in my mind anyway) was the Starbucks Caramel Frappuccino, described as a decadent treat of buttery caramel combined with coffee and milk, blended with ice, topped with whipped cream and a swirl of caramel sauce.

I was in a crisis situation…Panic was starting to take hold...
What was causing all this consternation?

The Caramel Macchiato… A Starbucks original! A creamy mix of vanilla and freshly steamed foamed milk marked with espresso and vanilla, topped with a buttery caramel sauce with a distinctive caramel pattern. Sweet, buttery and utterly intense.

What was I to do? There couldn’t be two best drinks.

Then the answer hit me, just like caffeine.

The Starbucks Caramel Frappuccino is the best Cold drink in existence.

The Starbucks Caramel Macchiato is the best Hot drink in existence.

Sorted!
Drink up and enjoy.

...ramon
I have a drink problem...I keep missing my mouth. - Carl Wane -1959-

FOR SALE

Have you ever noticed how people advertise their possessions in local news papers? Here’s one that caught my eye some time back.

'Caravan For Sale, six berth electric water toilet.'
Now I don’t know about you, but this conjures up in my mind all sorts of complications.
Do I take this literally or what? Would I want a caravan with a six berth toilet installed? And I’m no electrician, but even I know that water and electricity are not the best mix. Why would a toilet need to be electrified anyway? Maybe heated seats? On the positive side I suppose the six berths would allow for neighbourliness and association, and due to the close proximity of the toilets, polite conversation could be held without having to shout. You could even park your caravan in the front yard and advertise this wonder as a local amenity, open to all for a small charge. The sign could read “Would You Like To Spend a Penny?” This would also supplement the household income. Before long you could have a whole fleet of these vehicles touring around the country offering a valuable service to the community. Who knows, in time you could even become a national treasure!

Hmmmm…..

Maybe they just forgot the punctuation?

Also seen in a shop window “BABY’S NEARLY NEW”
A shop selling second hand babies. Now this really does my head in. Why would anyone want to advertise a baby? And why a nearly new one? Perhaps someone had one, as a Christmas present, and now realizes that there’s more to this baby business than meets the eye? You know like getting a puppy, its great for a few weeks, then you have to walk it, feed it, train it and clean it!

Hmmmm…..

Maybe they’re just advertising baby’s clothes?

…ramon
Every one lives by selling something. – Robert Louis Stevenson – 1850-1894

WORLDS APART

My wife Debbie who’s English and her American friend Dolly, who’s from Texas, were having a conversation some time back. It went something like this.

Debbie: “Hi Dolly.”
“Hi Debbie.”
“You’ll never guess what I’ve gone and done Dolly?”
“What you done?”
“I put a ladder in my tights!”
“Say what?”
“I’ve got a ladder in my tights.”
“You’ve got a what, in your what??”
Debbie lifted her skirt a little and showed Dolly what the problem was.
Dolly: “Oh you mean you got a run in your hose!”

This short conversation between two friends who claim to speak English really shows just how different our languages can be a times. Other examples are: The English have a ‘bonnet’ on their cars, while our American cousins have a ‘hood.’ We have a ‘Boot,’ they have a ‘Trunk.’ We have ‘Wings,’ while they have ‘Fenders.’ They ‘fill up with Gas,’- which brings all sorts of imaginings to mind – while we use ‘Petrol.’ It’s not just the Atlantic that sets us apart!

...ramon
England and America are two countries divided by a common language - George Bernard Shaw -1856-1950

NEW ARRIVALS

“I want to go back home.” With these words from my wife of three years ringing in my ears, we surveyed the seen before us. Utter chaos was the only way to describe the mess that thrust itself upon the senses. Clothes, boxes, suitcases, mess everywhere. The previous occupiers were just packing up and we had just arrived from England leaving behind a comfortable end terrace house in Staffordshire, to come to this, a two-room barn, with no bathroom. Going home wasn’t an option; we had no home to go back to! With six thousand pounds left over from the sale of our house, no car, and the prospect of renting this accommodation for IR₤12.00 a week, I thought, ‘welcome to Donegal, and welcome to Ireland.” I said to Debbie my wife, “Maybe things will look better in the morning?” She just looked at me with tears in her eyes.

The next day after spending the night at a friend’s house, things did look a little better, but not by much. The ‘barn cottage’ was a little bit tidier, the clothes, boxes, suitcases and tenants were gone. “I can’t live in this place” Debbie said, “Just look at it! Look at the kitchen for starters”. To be honest, it was abysmal. The kitchen was separated from the living room by a hardboard wall. The work surfaces were hardboard, which bowed in the middle like Robin Hood’s bow. The shelves were hardboard, the ceiling also hardboard. It was dark, damp fusty smelling and brown. “Maybe it’ll look better a different colour,” I said, “and perhaps we could even put up a strip light?”

If you will, picture the house in your mind as something like an old country cottage – it was in fact, we found out later, about 200 years old – one door in the middle, one window on either side of the door. Going in through the front door – the only door in the house – turn left to go in the living room/kitchen, turn right to go in to the bedroom. Straight ahead into the toilet, the centrepiece of the house. Using this was an experience in itself. The toilet bowl was raised up on a concrete block, so that when you sat on it your legs were off the ground, swinging. The room was so narrow that your shoulders rubbed on both of the walls, which were again constructed out of hardboard. And if you looked carefully, stopped swinging your legs and breathed in so as to get yourself square on the seat, you could look through the holes in the hardboard and see into the living room. Yes going to the toilet was no longer a private matter, but more of a family concern. You could even go, and still carry on the conversation with any guests that may have called around, you could hear them, they could hear you, and if you wished you could still keep eye contact.

…ramon
Romantic Ireland’s dead and gone…W.B. Yeats – 1865-1939

THAT'S REALLY LIVIN'

Sometime ago I heard a story about a wealthy man, who, on his death wanted to be buried in his favourite car, a Rolls Royce Silver Shadow, sitting behind the steering wheel dressed in his best suit.
The sad day eventually came and he passed away.
At his funeral, as the car with him inside was being lowered into the grave, someone was heard saying,
“Now that’s really livin’.”
Can you believe it?
This guy, dressed in his suit, sitting in his car, dead and about to be buried, was “really livin’.”

…ramon
“Give orders . . . to work at good, to be rich in fine works, to be liberal, ready to share, safely treasuring up for themselves a fine foundation for the future, in order that they may get a firm hold on the real life.”—1 Tim. 6:17-19.

WHAT'S IN A TRACK?

Ever seen a track? I don’t mean one of those things a train runs along. I mean a track. A footprint of an animal or human.
“I see them every day,” I hear you say.
But do you? Have you ever looked into a print made in the soil? What did you see?
“Nothing.”
If you saw nothing, did you really look, did you observe?
Many people today go about their daily lives blissfully unaware of what’s really going on around them. They miss so much. Looking into, not just at a track, can open up a whole new world for you to discover.
First of all, really looking into a track, gets you to stop.

Think about that! When did you last stop for a moment?

Ask yourself what is this telling me? Who or what made this track? What happened here? Why was it made? Where are the tracks leading? Why? Are they human tracks? Are they male or female? Was the person young or old? Is the track fresh or many days old? Was the person carrying a heavy load, like a rucksack? What kind of shoe made the track? Was it a boot, tennis shoe, or maybe a stiletto. Are they lost? Are they Hungry? Are they alone?

The answers to these and many more questions can all be found in the track.
Let’s take the first track that you find. Let’s say from the size and shape of the track, you’ve decided it’s the track of a man’s boot.
See you’re already relaxed and starting to think like a tracker!

Finding that first track is like picking up an imaginary piece of thread. You have the loose end. At the other end, is a living, moving, thinking, person. That person maybe lost or injured. Following that piece of thread is not going to be easy, but this first track starts you on your way. The wisdom is in the track.
“Whoa, just a minute, back up a bit.”
“The wisdom is in the track?” “What’s that supposed to mean?”
It means that the signs, the answers to all the above questions, can be answered by looking, really looking into that first track. It’s not something mystical, its real. In that track, there is a rich landscape of hills, mountains and valleys that have been shaped, not only by the boot, but , by the whole person, and by the environment. Properly read, this landscape can tell you a tremendous amount. The problem is we have forgotten how to read!
In his book, “The Science And Art Of Tracking”, Tom Brown Jr. calls this landscape the “Pressure Releases.” And in it he shows how we can lean to read these pressure releases, and be able to go on a journey of discovery.

So the question, “What’s in a track?

A lot more than you thought was possible, a whole new world of discovery at our finger tips. Or perhaps I should say, “At our feet.” Just look!

...ramon
Small circles of light glitering in the moon,
untill they all melted into one track.
Wordsworth - 1770-1850

STRANGE QUESTIONS

Have you ever been asked strange questions?

That may seem a strange question in itself!

But I’ll give you a couple of examples:

Some time back when I was working as a chimney sweep, I had a big blue van for my work. It was covered in stickers and nicely sign written, advertising the fact that I was definitely in the chimney sweep business, and open for custom. It had my name, my business name and my telephone number all over it, so there was no mistaking the fact that I was a chimney sweep.

So why oh why on many occasions when I was parked up somewhere, eating my lunch in between jobs, just trying to have a few moments to myself, did I get a knock, knock, knocking on the side of the van? Then a face at the side window. Then the question……

Yes you’ve guessed it, “Do you clean chimneys?”

…I mean, come on now, I’m not a bank manager or a hair stylist am I? I’ve got these overalls on, I’m in this van, and I’m not looking my cleanest.

How many times I really wanted to say “No I’m not. Go away I’m having my lunch”. But Politeness and good manners always won out, and the answer “Yes I am a chimney sweep, how can I help you,” left my lips.

KIDS TOO ASK THE DAFTEST QUESTIONS:

On occasions when actually cleaning someone’s chimney, I’d have all my necessary equipment nicely laid out on dust sheets in front of the fireplace I was cleaning. Vacuum cleaner, chimney brushes, rods, scrapers and me.

Then comes the dreaded question.

“What are you doing mister?”

Aaaaghhh!

Replies calmly “Planting potatoes,”

“NO YOUR NOT” comes the definite reply.

“What am I doing then?”

“You're cleaning the Chimerly,”

“You mean chimney?”

“Yes the Chimerly,”

I give up.

“Well, if you knew that why did you ask?”

Kid smirks

“Don’t know.”


...ramon
No question is ever settled, untill it is settled right...Ella Wheeler Wilcox 1855-1919